Heartfelt Touch
I have had the time today to ponder the strength of human spirit and the way in which a heartfelt touch can convey so much, without saying a thing.
I recently completed a mindfulness course and one of the other participants at the end of the last session said something which had really stuck in my mind
” I know I don’t know you that well ,but you seem to be a huggy sort of person !” And with that he marched over to me and threw his arms round me and it felt really good. It conveyed so much more than ” nice to make your acquaintance, or perhaps our paths will cross again “
However I also know people who definitely are not huggy people ,who flinch from contact in anyway and I respect that as well.
I was reminded of a a game I used to play with my Dad when I was a very small girl. We would be walking somewhere and I would be holding his hand and ever so often he would squeeze it, just three times signifying the message “I love you”. We would have discussions about how hard or gentle the squeeze should be resulting in complicated games that no one else even knew was taking place.it was our secret code and it felt good to share with someone else.
The innate ability to feel and to convey feeling through touch...
Recently I have had the occasion to think about what that little interaction said about my contact with my Dad and the power of touch generally, more so of a heartfelt touch.
Over Christmas, with friends , we took part in a fun quiz in which one question was ‘what is the first sense to develop in a baby in the womb ?’ With the answer being touch. This innate ability to feel and to convey feeling through touch is one that is shared both with humans and within the animal kingdom.
I also recently read an article ( mindbodygreen.com ) about the healing power of a hug especially when the hearts are pressed together creating synergy ( creation of a whole that is greater than the simple sum of its parts.)
Benefits of hugging
Hugging a person allows one to enter into that personal space that surrounds each and everyone of us and therefore can be difficult for some. The article listed the potential benefits of hugging as follows:
1. The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and a sense of safety.
2. Hugs can instantly boost oxytocin levels, which heal feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger.
3. Holding a hug for an extended time lifts one’s serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.
4. Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy and disease free.
5. Hugging boosts self-esteem. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self love.
6. Hugging relaxes muscles. Hugs release tension in the body. Hugs can take away pain; they soothe aches by increasing circulation into the soft tissues.
7. Hugs balance out the nervous system. The galvanic skin response of someone receiving and giving a hug shows a change in skin conductance. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system – parasympathetic.
8. Hugs teach us how to give and receive. There is equal value in receiving and being receptive to warmth, as to giving and sharing. Hugs educate us how love flows both ways.
9. Hugs are so much like meditation and laughter. They teach us to let go and be present in the moment. They encourage us to flow with the energy of life. Hugs get you out of your circular thinking patterns and connect you with your heart and your feelings and your breath.
10. The energy exchange between the people hugging is an investment in the relationship. It encourages empathy and understanding.
We need four hugs a day for survival...
A Quaker friend quoted the following to me “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.” Now maybe 12 hugs a day might not be hugely practical but there’s nothing to stop you giving yourself a virtual hug at any moment in a day. Just to be able to stop and recognise that you are worthy. For some the absence of hugs whilst young or the inappropriate hugging that most children are subjected too ( go and hug Auntie ….. ) , can influence your ability to hug others as an adult but to me it’s part of the journey about becoming more self aware and happier in your own skin.
However what happens when you are not a ‘huggy’ person , I presume that the above statements would be the total opposite invoking feelings of panic and a fight or flight automatic response.
I make a choice when I enter into a hug , it is a physical response to be closer to someone ,to convey feelings of warmth and understanding and therefore it is also a vulnerable position to be in.
Sometimes a hug is just enough to say what is so difficult to put into words.
Why I do the work I do...
Hopefully you’ve found this post interesting and I hope it gives you an insight as to why I run Heartfelt Ways.
Find out more about what I offer here at the Heartfelt Ways Centre in terms of mindfulness, wellness and healing or contact me to discuss a service. I’d love to hear from you.
