Being in the Now

At the beginning of the summer, my lovely dad gave me three tiny little seedling plants of the flower ” morning glory ” for me to take home and pot on. If you don’t know about morning glory, they are an amazing plant .They climb very high with tendrils turning and twisting around the support . Their aim is to reach the sunniest spot where one flower a day blooms and then dies. One flower each day, open for a few hours only. They normally open up in the first morning sun and can be gone by lunchtime , a beautiful deep vibrant blue with a bright yellow centre. These pretty flowers are being in the now.

I dutifully planted up the three little plants and sat back and waited . One gradually climbed to the top of the obelisk ,winding its tendrils carefully around each support and twisting and turning as it went. The other two unfortunately shrivelled and died despite having the same care and attention as the one that survived.

The morning arrived when I went outside to see a tiny bud on the plant, all curled up full of potential. The bud is a white and dark purple tightly curled affair that gives no hint to the brilliant blue contained within. Like many things in life we only see the true beauty of something or someone for short fleeting moments.

 

One flower

I had to go to work but was fully expecting to see the flower on my return home later that day … however when I did return the bud had dropped off the plant without even opening. However unbeknown to me the plant had flowered the previous morning but I had missed it , doubling my disappointment. I feel sorry for not being in the now.

My anticipation of seeing one flower has been the same each morning and I rather think that as no more buds will bloom this year as it’s considered a summer plant and we are now firmly in October, this anticipated event will not occur.

When I recounted this to my Dad he smiled and said “well at least you had more success than me, none of mine even made it up the supports, they died as tiny little plants without any growth at all “

So what's the point?

So what’s the point of this detailed description of a plant .As some of you know I have been studying mindfulness for well being and insight for this last year, spurred on by my own experience of meditation and mindfulness when I was so poorly. Mindfulness teaches you through breathing techniques and raising of your own awareness to be ” in the moment “ or being in the now. My practice in terms of sitting and meditating has developed and grown over the last year and this has lead onto some pretty life changing decisions ( however that’s another post entirely).

 

What I struggle with on a daily basis however is being mindful in my day to day everyday existence. To be able to just enjoy the moment for what it is, not what it possibly could be or even what it might have been on another occasion . I pile a load of expectation onto an event that many times then disappoints , does not live up to what I was expecting or failed to meet some impossible result dreamt up in my own head.

That’s where the “morning glory ” comes in , rather than just experiencing it as it was, a tightly curled beautifully coloured bud, I was already anticipating how gorgeous it would be when it flowered. I ignored the already beautifully formed existence of the bud in anticipation of something that in my mind was going to be more beautiful and more finished and in doing so negated the experience I had. I should have reveled more in the existence of even that one bud ( which It turned out was the only one of all the plants to appear) My disappointment on returning home to find it had dropped off the plant was palpable . I even got cross at the plant ! However this morning I have gone out and the plant is still there, with many buds that won’t flower now as it’s not sunny enough but it’s waving in the breeze and hanging onto its support. It survived when all the others didn’t. More to the point I have appreciated it just for what it is right now without any other expectation. Just by being in the now!

I am aware that not seeing a flower bloom , in the wider scheme of things isn’t such a big deal, but if one can’t be fully in that moment, how do I expect to be fully in another when it really is unpleasant . We have a tendency as humans to push away the unpleasant and hang onto the pleasurable when in actual fact all moments in time will pass whether we are enjoying them or not. We cannot control what is ,but we can control our response to it.

We are also totally unaware of what that moment is like for another person , we may be in the same room, hearing the same words but our perception and reality is different to each and everyone of us .

The budding flower was beautiful in its own right , it was where it should have been doing what it had grown to do but the conditions did not favour its full development however that doesn’t take away from what it actually was.

My head and heart are full at the moment with stuff spilling out all over (much like my house ) but I’m trying to sit with it as it is, not desperately trying to fix everything at once. I appreciate this is difficult for others and for me but I’m learning to be ” more in the moment ” which ultimately should be a better place than constantly living in the future or harking back to an imagined / perceived past .

I am also glad that at least one person saw the fully opened morning glory even if it was such a fleeting moment. It’s being in the now!

Why I do the work I do...

Hopefully you’ve found this post interesting and I hope it gives you an insight as to why I run Heartfelt Ways.

Find out more about what I offer here at the Heartfelt Ways Centre in terms of mindfulness, wellness and healing or contact me to discuss a service. I’d love to hear from you.

Vanessa White - Heartfelt Ways inn Huddersfield

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